Wednesday, January 11, 2012

homework, mothers, and chronic stress (warning: rant ahead)

so.....i've been stressed lately. way stressed. yeah, i just got back from winter break a few days ago, i know that. but i don't think that did anything for me except move my stress a week away.

first off, my mom did something pretty low today. i see my boyfriend maybe once a week. maybe. and i was going to see him tonight, at church. i was all excited for a whole 3 hours to spend together; i've been excited about tonight for a few weeks now. and, right before we walk out the door, she drops the bomb. "hey, you're not going." ...yeah. supposedly i have "too much homework." (which is true, but seeing my boyfriend is a little more important than AP world history) adding "oh, and the bathroom smells funny. clean it before i come home," she walks out the door. i race to the phone, trying to catch my boyfriend before he leaves for church...and miss him, of course, because something shouldn't go right in my day--that'd be too nice. so i'm kinda determined not to do any homework while she's gone, but drink hot chocolate for 3 hours, just to spite her. (stupid? maybe. reasonable? in my mind, yes.)

and then there's the pile of homework i need to do. it's in three categories--way overdue, to be turned in soon, and to be turned in before the end of the semester (after exams, in 2.5 weeks). and i've counted out the hours it'll take to do it all, and the hours i HAVE until the semester ends....and there's just no mathematical OR logical way to make them come close. it'll take a miracle and some really good motivation to get it all done. since my grades are a bit shaky because i have so many missing assignments.....they need to be done. i don't know how i'm going to do them all, i just know that when the semester ends, SOMEHOW i'm going to have all my work turned in.

so if there's such a thing as chronic stress, yeah, i have it. big time. and i'm not in some poetic mood today, saying that of course there's going to be a happy ending, because there probably isn't. the best i can do is acknowledge it....and then get back to my homework.

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