CHWC—where i’ve been for the last week. it was awesome and because i promised various people who read my blog that i’d post what i did, here it is (the edited version, of course, because the unedited version is only in my diary, and blogs aren’t diaries, especially when daddy reads my blog :D) and i apoligize for this incredibly long post.
Friday: You know how you used to feel like the night before christmas or a vacation, how it’s hard to sleep? that’s how i feel now. can’t wait til CHWC starts.
Saturday: it’s late. like, really late. i’m writing by the light of a nightlight. we’re getting up at 4 tomorrow, so i should be asleep, but i can’t sleep, so i figured i should write. i really can’t even see the page or what i’m writing. well, when we got to church, we did just some teambuilding stuff for a few hours…then kinda just hung out, packed our stuff, and went to bed. can’t wait til tomorrow :)
Sunday: loooong drive today. it’s 10.30 but feels like so much later because we got up at 4. that’s way too early for me. we switched cars every few hours, so the trip was kinda split up into 4 parts. the first part—i tried (and failed) to sleep. second part—laughed hysterically, waved at random cars, watched the driver of my car stick her foot out the window, had tons of fun. third part—explained twilight to a guy. don’t ask. it was his choice of topics, not mine. then lunch. then like a half hour more and we were there. pittsburgh is really pretty, in a dangerous, big-city sort of way. like, it’s this huge city, but there’s mountains all over and these huge houses up in the mountains that look like castles. but you can see the lack of money, the graffiti, the broken-down houses, the need that is so clear if you look past the mountains. the program and mass were pretty neat too---more interesting than i’d expected. i get to work with kids in a boys and girls club—should be fun, and pretty easy too.
Monday: disappointingish day today. for one, my focus is totally off—i’m supposed to be focusing on serving others and growing closer to god and all that. but i’m not. i’m all distracted by my personal life. i’m supposed to have left that behind, but it’s followed me here. just because he paid some attention to me the other day, i thought (hoped) that he liked me. so now i’m depressed because he’s kinda been ignoring me, although it’s not at all surprising. also, as i said yesterday, i’m working in a boys and girls club, not painting/working like everyone else. it feels kinda insignificant; i mean, so i spend like 3 days hanging out with some kids. so what? it’s not going to do that much in the end; not going to affect anyone. it’s just like, what’s the point? i don’t quite see it.
Tuesday: today…better day. the kids remembered us. now that i’m out of my random;y depressed mood, yeah, i do think we’ll have some sort of impact. maybe not lifelong. maybe not just on the kids, maybe on the other adults that ask us why we’re doing this. but something. the routine is pretty straightforward there. it’s like in the ghetto. i’m serious; it’s kinda creepy. we play a lot of games with the kids—ping-pong and pool and the wii and air hockey and dance dance revolution. it’s fun. the kids are all so intense! they’re so competitive, and you can see they’re used to a hard life, where you HAVE to be that intense. so not what i’m used to.
Wednesday: i keep losing my voice. i’m gonna scare some little kids or something. today we went to a different boys and girls club because our kids were on a field trip that we weren’t allowed to go on. it was a lot nicer—not in the ghetto this time :D. basically same routine though, but we got to go swimming, which was pretty amazing. i’m getting kinda sick of sleeping on a gym floor with 250 other girls and communal showers. i’m sitting in the program room writing and waiting for evening program to start. four corners tonight. it’s this sort of prayer-thing. i can’t really explain, but it’s really moving and intense. really awesome.
Thursday: kinda sad day, because today was the last day with the kids. they all asked us to visit again, and we couldn’t have said no so we just kinda said that we’d try to and hoped that they’d forget so they wouldn’t be disappointed.
Friday: free day. i’m exhausted, and feel kinda sick. this week of 5 hours of sleep a night has definately caught up to me. i went to a water park and fell asleep twice, but other than that had quite a bit of fun. i’m really sunburnt again though. looking back at this week, it’s gone so fast. it’ll be a whole year til i can do this again, and i already miss it.
My chains are gone, I've been set free
God my savior has ransomed me
and like a flood his mercy reigns
unending love, amazing grace