Catholic Heart Work Camp

CHWC—where i’ve been for the last week. it was awesome and because i promised various people who read my blog that i’d post what i did, here it is (the edited version, of course, because the unedited version is only in my diary, and blogs aren’t diaries, especially when daddy reads my blog :D) and i apoligize for this incredibly long post.

Friday:                                                                                              You know how you used to feel like the night before christmas or a vacation, how it’s hard to sleep? that’s how i feel now. can’t wait til  CHWC starts.

Saturday:                                                                                          it’s late. like, really late. i’m writing by the light of a nightlight. we’re getting up at 4 tomorrow, so i should be asleep, but i can’t sleep, so i figured i should write. i really can’t even see the page or what i’m writing. well, when we got to church, we did just some teambuilding stuff for a few hours…then kinda just hung out, packed our stuff, and went to bed. can’t wait til tomorrow :)

Sunday:                                                                                             loooong drive today. it’s 10.30 but feels like so much later because we got up at 4. that’s way too early for me. we switched cars every few hours, so the trip was kinda split up into 4 parts. the first part—i tried (and failed) to sleep. second part—laughed hysterically, waved at random cars, watched the driver of my car stick her foot out the window, had tons of fun. third part—explained twilight to a guy. don’t ask. it was his choice of topics, not mine. then lunch. then like a half hour more and we were there. pittsburgh is really pretty, in a dangerous, big-city sort of way. like, it’s this huge city, but there’s mountains all over and these huge houses up in the mountains that look like castles. but you can see the lack of money, the graffiti, the broken-down houses, the need that is so clear if you look past the mountains. the program and mass were pretty neat too---more interesting than i’d expected. i get to work with kids in a boys and girls club—should be fun, and pretty easy too.

Monday:                                                                                            disappointingish day today. for one, my focus is totally off—i’m supposed to be focusing on serving others and growing closer to god and all that. but i’m not. i’m all distracted by my personal life. i’m supposed to have left that behind, but it’s followed me here. just because he paid some attention to me the other day, i thought (hoped) that he liked me. so now i’m depressed because he’s kinda been ignoring me, although it’s not at all surprising. also, as i said yesterday, i’m working in a  boys and girls club, not painting/working like everyone else. it feels kinda insignificant; i mean, so i spend like 3 days hanging out with some kids. so what? it’s not going to do that much in the end; not going to affect anyone. it’s just like, what’s the point? i don’t quite see it.

Tuesday:                                                                                           today…better day. the kids remembered us. now that i’m out of my random;y depressed mood, yeah, i do think we’ll have some sort of impact. maybe not lifelong. maybe not just on the kids, maybe on the other adults that ask us why we’re doing this. but something. the routine is pretty straightforward there. it’s like in the ghetto. i’m serious; it’s kinda creepy. we play a lot of games with the kids—ping-pong and pool and the wii and air hockey and dance dance revolution. it’s fun. the kids are all so intense! they’re so competitive, and you can see they’re used to a hard life, where you HAVE to be that intense. so not what i’m used to.

Wednesday:                                                                                      i keep losing my voice. i’m gonna scare some little kids or something. today we went to a different boys and girls club because our kids were on a field trip that we weren’t allowed to go on. it was a lot nicer—not in the ghetto this time :D. basically same routine though, but we got to go swimming, which was pretty amazing. i’m getting kinda sick of sleeping on a gym floor with 250 other girls and communal showers. i’m sitting in the program room writing and waiting for evening program to start. four corners tonight. it’s this sort of prayer-thing. i can’t really explain, but it’s really moving and intense. really awesome.

Thursday:                                                                                         kinda sad day, because today was the last day with the kids. they all asked us to visit again, and we couldn’t have said no so we just kinda said that we’d try to and hoped that they’d forget so they wouldn’t be disappointed.

Friday:                                                                                              free day. i’m exhausted, and feel kinda sick. this week of 5 hours of sleep a night has definately caught up to me. i went to a water park and fell asleep twice, but other than that had quite a bit of fun. i’m really sunburnt again though. looking back at this week, it’s gone so fast. it’ll be a whole year til i can do this again, and i already miss it.

My chains are gone, I've been set free
God my savior has ransomed me
and like a flood his mercy reigns
unending love, amazing grace

hi again

i haven't posted in forever. sorry. i guess.

i was on a mission trip all last week (it was awesome; sometime later i'll post about it) and this week i've been too brain-dead to think, let along blog.

detasseling is FINALLY over. i'm so happy. i seriously am not doing it again. not a chance. ugh.

i can't think. i need sleep.

there. i blogged again.

band camp week after next. i'd be exciteder if i was more awake.

song of the day: "Last to Know" by Three Days Grace

Corn. corn corn corn.

gah. i'm seeing corn. i'm serious. when you work in a cornfield for like 8 hours a day, corn gets stuck in your head. now every time i close my eyes, i see corn. i seriously dreamed about corn last night. isn't that a sign of insanity?

thanks soooooo much, ellie, for putting the blogging breaking dawn thing on here. i totally owe you. and thanks for the e-froot loops, adi! :D

hmmmm. i should blog something interesting. like, regularly. what do you think? should i write a story, or blog about one? or both, or something completely different? hmmm. what's your favorite song? i want to listen to some new music. how many questions can i ask in one post?

i'm going on a mission trip with my church on saturday. it should be really fun. we're going to pittsburgh for a week. i'm crossing my fingers that there will be wifi access where we're sleeping. and that i'll have my ipod touch back by then. if not, i'll be without internet access for a week.

i think i'll blog my mission trip, if i get internet access while i'm there. if not, i'll just write it down and post it when i come back monday. you can read it, or ignore it if you don't care. whoever "you" is. i'm probably talking to myself....well, typing to myself.

anyway. it's hot here. like, 100 degrees. and humid. ugh. i'm sleepy. and need to do something besides type/talk to myself. naptime.

song of the day: "hundred" by the fray

i need help!!!

please, someone, copy and paste blogging breaking dawn, part 3 in the comments so i can read it, because daddy still has it blocked. thanks (hopefully) [:

Christina's talking in third person now and has to go to marching band practice.

Today, i have a headache. MLIA.

*poke*

haven't posted in awhile.

too much to say and not enough time or words to say it all with, i guess.

i'm tired. corn detasseling is a lot of work. if you don't know what that is, it's the country version of weeding.

hmmm. i can't think.

i'm 15. finally. my birthday was saturday. i worked. and then went to a family reunion. i asked for froot loops. i got a laptop. but then again, i paid for 1/3 of it myself. i still want froot loops.

daddy's going to cali again next week. and i'm going to pittsburgh for a mission trip. it'll be fun. i'm hoping that i'll magically get my ipod back and then get wifi access there. the guy i like will be there. :)

i'm reading MLIA. one said "what do ninjas eat?" i don't know. maybe pirates. any ideas?

song of the day: (in honor of corn detasseling, it's a country-ish song) "Undo It" by Carrie Underwood

"today is a good day" "why?" "because i said so"

yay :D

i'm sitting in a car dealership, brainstorming for my AP english essay that i have to write, and am very happy because i just got internet access. and i get to see the guy i like today. in short, the only thing wrong with my life is the fact that i don't have facebook access. but i'll get that back soon :)

i really am getting annoyed at the lack of intelligent/poetic thought in my recent posts. seriously. i've been getting back into writing poetry a little bit lately, but not that much. i guess i've kinda gotten discouraged; i mean, what if my poetry really isn't good enough to read? what if i'm just fooling myself; if i've been lying to myself all along? what if i can't write after all?

there's nothing i want more than to be an author; to write for a living every day of my life. but maybe i'll never be good enough for that.

i don't know.

hey, at least there's some intelligent thought in the last few paragraphs, even if it's depressing. but i don't want to be depressed. so i'll just go read some poetry or something.

"sometimes you just gotta try to breathe, you said.
in and out, up and down, believe, you said.
your eyes will burn, the world will turn, there's always something new to learn,
and i'll love you til the edge of the world, you said."

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant get on facebook!!!!!!!!!!! help meeeeeee!!!!!! *dying of lack of communication especially considering that i was hoping to talk with the guy i like on fb again tonight*

hopefully daddy can unblock it again, because im dying!!!!!!!!!


there. that counts as posting for the day. i have a headache anyway; the last thing i want to do is write right now.

stealing other people's blog ideas...again

does anyone even read my blog anymore? just wondering..... anyway. i got my laptop!! her name is aimee. she's adorable. (:

and because i saw this on...someone's blog (can't remember who) and i liked it, i'll do it myself. my life according to my bookshelf........ [if anyone doesn't know, the answers are all book titles of books i have. that's the object of the...i'll call it a game.]

are you a male or a female: the optimist's daughter
describe yourself: the wanderer
how do you feel: beautiful [kinda. has anyone else ever felt that way; almost beautiful? it may be because of the weather...or i'm just happy...or something. idk]
where do you currently live: a mango-shaped space
if you could go anywhere, where would you go: halfway to the sky
your favorite form of transportation: through the looking-glass
your best friend is: a bold fresh piece of humanity
you and your best friends are: the last of the really great whangdoodles
what's the weather like: a ring of endless light [amazing book. read it. really.]
favorite time of day: remains of the day
if your life was a tv show, what would it be called: notes on a near-life experience
what is life to you: the unbearable lightness of being
your relationship: life as we knew it
your fear: the everafter
what is the best advice you have to give: things fall apart
thought for the day: the sun also rises
how would you like to die: inkdeath [in other words, the death of my choosing. weak, but only thing that really fit]
my soul's present condition: waiting
my motto: the stone angel [another weak one. oh well.]